I want to answer this carefully, because the question you are asking is an important one and you are asking it clearly.
The absence of physical violence does not settle the question. What you have described, being afraid of someone's moods and continually modifying your own behaviour to manage them, is a recognised pattern and it is worth taking seriously on its own terms. The everyday word for the state you are describing is walking on eggshells, and it has a cost even when nothing visible happens.
Some things that are worth noticing, gently. Whether your world has narrowed: people you see less, things you have stopped mentioning. Whether you find yourself explaining or excusing his reactions to yourself before anyone else asks. Whether you can predict his mood better than you can predict your own plans.
I am not going to diagnose your marriage from a paragraph, and I would not want to. But this is a reasonable thing to bring to a private conversation, and you should not wait until it is worse to do so.
If at any point you feel unsafe, safety arrangements come before therapeutic work, and emergency services come before both.
This is general information in reply to a public question, not advice about your own situation, and it does not create a client relationship. If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services.
